It's been almost two months since Ironman. I can hardly believe that. I know I haven't published my ironman report yet, this post will explain why.
My 85 year old mom's health started deteriorating at the end of summer. She spent several weeks in the hospital. She was out for a short time then readmitted two days prior to me leaving for Ironman. I was so worried about her while I was gone. We got home about 1am Saturday morning and I left at 4pm Saturday to go and see her in the hospital. The rest of October and the beginning of November looked like this: work for 4 days, go to Lethbridge, work for 4 days go to Lethbridge. One day as I was headed back down to Lethbridge as my mom was being sent back to the hospital for the third time that week, I got a text from my step sister to inform me, my dad was in the hospital. He had fallen and broke his hip!
I'm happy to report that both of them seem to be holding their own for now.
A few weeks before Ironman, I caught a cold. I was mostly recovered by race day. I still had some tightness in my chest but I was able to push through it. After the race, on our vacation in New York I started getting sicker. When I got home I went steadily downhill. I finally caved and went to the doctor and she put me on antibiotics. This was all going on while I was dealing with my parents. After about 8 weeks of being sick I finally started to feel better. Due to some residual respiratory inflammation I'm now using an inhaler for exercise.
To top it off, I injured my back at work.
I won't sugar coat it, the last two months have been really hard. It's been mentally exhausting. I know my mom won't be around many more years. However, when I got a phone call at 930pm a few Sundays ago telling me they didn't think she would make it though the night, I was not prepared for the instant grief I felt. I have always struggled with my relationship with my mom. She has been a difficult mom. A great granny to my kids when they were younger but she has caused a lot of pain in my life. Having said that, she is still me mom. When she passes I know I will grieve the loss of what could have been. I see what I could have had when I look at the relationship I have with my children. Caring for my mom has been a balm to hurt my heart feels from her.
My dad has enjoyed really good health for a 90 year old. He is active, witty and I have never doubted my dad's love for me. I have so many amazing memories with my dad. When I found out he had fallen it really shook me. It's hard to imagine my life without my dad in it.
Being injured has been the biggest mental challenge for me. I'm trying to have a good attitude, but it feels like my body has betrayed me. I'm an Ironman, come on!!! I know I need to be patient but the struggle is real.
Ok, end of pity party.
My 85 year old mom's health started deteriorating at the end of summer. She spent several weeks in the hospital. She was out for a short time then readmitted two days prior to me leaving for Ironman. I was so worried about her while I was gone. We got home about 1am Saturday morning and I left at 4pm Saturday to go and see her in the hospital. The rest of October and the beginning of November looked like this: work for 4 days, go to Lethbridge, work for 4 days go to Lethbridge. One day as I was headed back down to Lethbridge as my mom was being sent back to the hospital for the third time that week, I got a text from my step sister to inform me, my dad was in the hospital. He had fallen and broke his hip!
I'm happy to report that both of them seem to be holding their own for now.
A few weeks before Ironman, I caught a cold. I was mostly recovered by race day. I still had some tightness in my chest but I was able to push through it. After the race, on our vacation in New York I started getting sicker. When I got home I went steadily downhill. I finally caved and went to the doctor and she put me on antibiotics. This was all going on while I was dealing with my parents. After about 8 weeks of being sick I finally started to feel better. Due to some residual respiratory inflammation I'm now using an inhaler for exercise.
To top it off, I injured my back at work.
I won't sugar coat it, the last two months have been really hard. It's been mentally exhausting. I know my mom won't be around many more years. However, when I got a phone call at 930pm a few Sundays ago telling me they didn't think she would make it though the night, I was not prepared for the instant grief I felt. I have always struggled with my relationship with my mom. She has been a difficult mom. A great granny to my kids when they were younger but she has caused a lot of pain in my life. Having said that, she is still me mom. When she passes I know I will grieve the loss of what could have been. I see what I could have had when I look at the relationship I have with my children. Caring for my mom has been a balm to hurt my heart feels from her.
My dad has enjoyed really good health for a 90 year old. He is active, witty and I have never doubted my dad's love for me. I have so many amazing memories with my dad. When I found out he had fallen it really shook me. It's hard to imagine my life without my dad in it.
Being injured has been the biggest mental challenge for me. I'm trying to have a good attitude, but it feels like my body has betrayed me. I'm an Ironman, come on!!! I know I need to be patient but the struggle is real.
Ok, end of pity party.